Saturday, October 10, 2009

Hi, Remember me?

Hello Blog World,

Do you remember me? Oh, forgot about me? My name is Sara. I am a "stay at home mom". I sometimes pop in on my blog "All Things Girlie". I have 2 wonderful daughters....

Memory refreshed??

Sorry its been over a month since I last posted! There is so much to fill you guys in on! I will start with the good news: I opened my Etsy shop today! Come visit me at www.primitiveaccents.etsy.com . (Hum, the link button is making a long address come up insted of leaving the link how I want...) Anywho, I am really excited about my shop being open finally. For almost as long as I have had my blog I have talked about "eventually" opening up a shop. That time has finally come! I make penny rug candle mats, grungy reed diffusers, misc. holiday decor, shelf sitters, plus much more! I truely hope that I will be blessed with the shop in the way that God intends.

Chloe is a rockstar in school! She loves first grade and all that comes with it! It amazes me so greatly how well she can read, but even more so is her natural ability with math! I have never taken too highly to math, but she just LOOKS at some numbers and can tell me the sum of it! So far, she has brought home 100%s on her end of the week tests!!! I am so proud of her! She loves acro! That was the best thing for her! And her first Daisy Girl Scouts meeting was the other day. That brought back so many memories of me when I was little....

Kylie loves acro as well! She is the youngest in her class and does so well! This upcoming week, the parents are allowed to sit in the class and watch! I am super excited for that to see what all she is learning! Every day she is growing up more and more. It makes me so proud of her and yet so sad. She will turn 3 in December and she is no longer a baby. I know she hasn't been for awhile, but its kind of hard for me to realize that my baby isn't a baby. She has such a terrific personality and just like Chloe has an amazing talent for make believe and game playing!

The biggest news of all is that after many years of going back and forth, Jason and I are finally officially divorcing. I am taking it well, for the moment. There are times when I am doing something I will start to cry. I will miss him so much for the man I knew, for how good he was to me when he was good to me..... Its so conflicting. Almost our whole marriage was a roller coaster ride. He was always drinking which fueled so much. I stood by him in his darkest hour. I have always supported him in his choices. I am staying as positive as I can during this though. I am planning on going back to school once this is finalized. I have the girls to keep me busy along with my Etsy shop. I am currently looking for a job. Right now nothing has changed between us, actually something has, we have learned to communicate. We (for the first time in years) actually sit around and talk and laugh with each other. That kind of makes it hard to accept this is a reality, but I know in my heart it is. Words truely can not describe how much I love him. I know it is so corney, but the day I met him I was in love. And its not like our meeting was a super fabulous kind of thing... just met at the fair thru a mutual friend in passing, said a few words to each other and the next day our friend called and asked if she could give him my number. The very next weekend, we were a couple. I felt so strongly about him in that brief encounter and 6 *short* years, I am still head over heels in love with him.

I know deep down that he does love me.... yet I am not going to put the fight in for this not to happen this time. He will realize what a mistake he made in a short while and that hurts me. Jason wasn't raised by the best of parents. They were drunk 24/7, his mother beat him with every inch of his life out of amuzement, they lied about major life changing issues..... and in turn as he grew older, he drank to cope with his life until April. I hate that he had to endure so much in his life and that he didn't grow up finding other ways to deal with issues. Those are things I can not change... I will always love him. Not just for being the father of my children, but for being him. We are actually meeting with the lawyer tomorrow to go over the papers that he filed a month ago. After that, I will go to my lawyer to review them. And then the process will begin.

In all honesty, that is why I havent posted in such a long time. Before he told me he filed, it was so tense here. Nothing but fighting between the two of us. And every time I actually would try to write something, I would just want to write of what was going on between us and I didn't want that. I don't want my blog to be a sad blog.

Would you please say a prayer that I find a good job to support me and the girls? Pray that Jason doesn't return to drinking when he moves out when the divorce is done? Pray that I find peace in this? And lastly pray that my girls take this divorce well? We haven't told them yet and I am truely dreading that. Even though he will have them when he is home from work, it still bothers me that it will be separate homes. Separate parties and so on....

I have to catch up on my emails and such, but please check out my blog and tell your friends!!!! Have a great week!!!







3 comments:

Rue said...

So sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time of it. Perhaps when the papers are signed and finished, you can start to move forward. School sounds great! And congrats on your Etsy shop! And your girls will need you too.

Blessings and healing to you.

Bridgett said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this Sara.

But it does sound as if it's for the best.

So glad the girls are doing well in school and extracurricular activities. :)

XOXO

One Womans Thoughts said...

Sara,

I write to wish you strength and encouragement while going thru the divorce process and the transitional time following. Much of your blogging reminds me of me, only I am quite a bit older than you. You will be ok, you will endure and become stronger. keep the faith, and take time for yourself, time to get to know you, pamper you and love you.